Highlights of the 3rd Agreement and the Full 4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best by Care’n Mooney

12 minutes ago

Highlights from Part 3 of the Four Agreements "Don't Make Assumptions"

As we were referring to before, making assumptions is like taking bits of information and mixing them with our past experiences and other people's gossip, trying to solve what we are perceiving and make sense of it.

When we try to come up with a valid explanation without taking the time to clarify things with the people around whom we are making the assumptions, we have a tendency to form the wrong conclusions.

Assumptions are ideas that are formed in an instant, and when we draw information from the bits, pieces, and fragments, we are definitely not going to get a clear picture.

There are times when we make an assumption about something we have learned to be true, such as, "don't touch something cooking on the stove; it will burn you," or "if I work out, I will get fit." These are based on fact, and we do not have a tendency to see a pot sitting on the counter and assume that it is hot.

This is a different form of utilizing stored information.

Assumptions that lead to pain and suffering are things like asking ourselves, "Is he or she not calling because I said something wrong?" or "Did they overhear a conversation and now they're talking about me?"

These assumptions can lead us into pain and suffering. Assuming that we're not good enough or smart enough and that others feel the same way about us leads us in a negative direction.

Break the patterns—it's time to be free.

When we are busy making assumptions, we find reasons to judge things, and when we start judging things, we're looking for forms of punishment.

When we assume that we can change someone—again assuming that we know what's best for them—or attempting to make them into exactly what we're looking for, this leads to pain and suffering.

If you're with someone whom you're constantly trying to change, perhaps you really don't like the person, and you should rethink the relationship.

When you love yourself, you choose to find a way to let others know you, and you want to know them.

By learning to speak impeccably and asking for clarification if you don't understand, you eliminate the need to make assumptions. It helps eliminate misunderstanding and pain.

Part 4 of the Four Agreements - Always Do Your Best

Each and every day, our best varies. If we learn to honor ourselves with compassion by realizing that every day we may have different levels of our best, we are in a much happier place. Our best can be governed by the amount of sleep we got, illness, or stress. When you realize this, you can remove the need to punish yourself.

When we demand that our best is better than what we are capable of at that moment, it drains our energy, depletes our body, and even goes against our spirit. It will take you longer to accomplish what you're trying to do, leading to frustrations and bringing up self-judgments of guilt and regrets.

We may begin to judge ourselves, and we then feel the need to impose a punishment. Most of the time, we are not even aware that we are punishing ourselves for something we perceived as not the best in ourselves.

We do this with self-sabotage. This can manifest in many ways. We can then find ways to soothe the pain through drugs, alcohol, sex, and even failure. When we remove the need for punishment, we remove the need to push ourselves beyond our limits.

Our society praises us for hard work and more work and more work. Brené Brown said, "It takes courage to rest and play in a world where exhaustion is a status symbol."

A man came to the master and asked, "If I meditate for four hours every day, how long will it take before I become enlightened?" The master answered, "Perhaps 10 years." He asked again, "If I meditate for eight hours a day, how long will it take?" The master replied, "20 years." The man asked, "Why, if I meditate more, does it take longer?" The master said, "You are here to live, to be happy, and to love."

When we are constantly comparing our best to someone else, or even to what we did last week and especially what we did 10 years ago, we are definitely not living, being happy, or being in love.

If we are always working for the next paycheck in order to have a glimpse of happiness on the weekend, we are chasing that moment and will miss the opportunity simply by not being in the present moment.

I saw a story of an Australian marathon runner. She was running a marathon when she was caught and burned over 90% of her body when a brush fire appeared out of nowhere.

Each day, she did her best—not more, just her best on that day. She received skin grafts to replace her face, her legs, her arms, and her torso. By doing her best every single day, she got herself to a point where she decided she was going to run again, and she did. She uses her life to inspire others.

When we free ourselves from the programs and start loving ourselves by being impeccable with our speech, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and always doing our best, we take back our authentic self.

You are now on the way to the mastery of intent, the mastery of spirit, the mastery of love, the mastery of self-love, and the mastery of gratitude. This will lead to the mastery of life.

Let's go back to our innocent childhood and remember a song that we would sing, which has more meaning now than it did then:

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream,

Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

What if we learn to row our boat gently, live our life gently, and as we do, find merriment and realize that life is but a dream?

The amazing news is that we are constantly creating our dream. Let's create a better dream.

Every Tuesday evening, I have a heart-centered meditation at my center in Mesa, Arizona. I call it the open-heart meditation. I guide the group into our heart’s center, feeling it with joy, feeling it expands and vibrates faster and faster until we become our true essence as beings of light.

If anyone is in the Phoenix or Mesa area, please give me a call and be part of our open-heart meditation.

I see you, I appreciate you, I honor you